


Weakness

by clonidinedreams



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (2017), Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note (Live Action TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, F/M, Foreplay, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, i didn't write them actually doing it though sorry, thats a little too much for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29995998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clonidinedreams/pseuds/clonidinedreams
Summary: "Do you think that I'm crazy?""If anything, I think you're not crazy enough."
Kudos: 1





	Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel/continuation of another fic I wrote (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12056754) around 3 and a half years ago. This was actually written shortly after that one, but I lost the notebook I wrote it in. Why I chose to write it in a notebook is a mystery to me still. I recently discovered it and decided to say "Fuck it". I liked the concepts and life is short. Too short not to write indulgent fanfictions about shitty movies no one has thought about in years.

There had been many things that had happened in the last few days, things that even in Light's wildest dreams, weren't possible. He never thought he would have complete control over life and death. He never thought the supernatural could exist.  
He thought he would go through life powerless. He thought he would never get justice for his mother.

Strangely enough, Light would have believed all those unlikely things could happen before he thought Mia Sutton would ever even glance at him in a way that acknowleged his existence.

But now in that moment, she was in his house, walking up the stairs, heading to Light's room. Both of them were walking gingerly and quietly, as to not wake up Light's sleeping father.  
That was truly the last thing he expected to happen.

Light looked at her and saw that she was so full of life, her eyes seemed to glow with anticipation. She was thinking about all the things they could do. All the people they could kill. Mia was thinking of all the power that notebook held.

Light was aware he was using it for selfish reasons, he used it to lure Mia towards him. Killing Kenny, Anthony Skomal and James Brody had given Light the confidence to say something to her. His petty insecurities felt so insignificant when he held the death note in his hands.

  
He could see that Mia was attracted to the power. Light had realized on some level that wasn't himself she was attracted to, it was the death note. But that moment as they were entering his room, Light couldn't have cared less. All Light really wanted, all he ever really wanted, was Mia. The way he had gotten her didn't matter to him.

  
Light's bedroom was dimly lit by a weak overhead lamp in his doorway as they both made their way into the room. Light had an idea of what was about to happen. The tension between Light and Mia was palpable and vivid in the forefront of their minds.

  
Mia had glanced at him, for only a moment, dreamily before averting her gaze to the dark room. She seemed to have more on her mind than going to Light's bedroom to talk about their plan for the death note.

  
Or at least, that's what he hoped.

  
Mia rested her back against the wall and gazed intensely into Light's eyes. It felt as if she was burning a hole into his skull and was able to see every thought that ever crossed his mind. Every fucked up, perverted or weird thing that existed in his head was left exposed for her to see.

  
Light slowly inched closer to Mia. As he did this, Light could feel that newly formed confidence melt away into absolutely nothing.

  
At this point, their lips were almost touching, but Light froze and pulled away slightly. Mia's mouth formed into a surprised grin. He found himself unable to make the first move. Apprehension and fear began flooding his mind rapidly.

  
Along with that apprehension and fear was seething anger. Light felt angry at himself, he had been given everything on a silver platter and was still too weak to take it.  
Light asked timidly, "Can I kiss you?"

  
Mia's eyes flashed with amusement, "You're not supposed to ask."

  
"What am I supposed to do?" Light slurred quietly.

  
Almost in annoyance, Mia placed her hands on his shoulders and aggressively pushed Light against the wall, before kissing him roughly. She did this as if to say to him, " _This is what you're supposed to do_."  
Light felt a strange combination of embarrassment and overwhelming arousal when Mia did this.

  
She pulled away and gazed into Light's eyes again. This time, he felt as if he wasn't in control of his actions anymore. All the fear that flooded his mind only moments before dried up.

  
Light pulled Mia into himself and kissed her more gently then she did him. Mia returned the embrace and wrapped her delicate hands around the back of Light's neck.

  
Her mouth tasted so good to Light, like a freshly lit cigarettes on a warm rainy Friday evening. Light began to run his hand down her back, it was thin and bony. In that moment, she seemed so small to him. Eventually, his hands made their way to her chest and he began caressing her small breasts. Mia groaned into his mouth as Light did this. In response to his fondling, Mia ran her fingers through Light's hair and at some points, would lightly pull on it.

  
As the kiss ran on, Light started to notice he was getting an erection. He felt embarrassed again for getting so excited sexually, it seemed like he had no control over his body, but he also hoped that Mia would notice it.

  
Mia pulled away from him impatiently and glanced at the bed, waiting for Light to invite her into it.

  
Light hurriedly said, "Let's get in bed."

  
Mia lightly kissed him again, before moving her mouth to his ear and whispering, "Good boy."

  
For some reason, Mia talking to Light in that manner turned him on significantly more than he already was.

\-----

  
Mia and Light kissed sitting in the center of Light's bed for a while. Time as a concept was lost to Light, and he had no clue how long they were sitting there exploring each other's mouths. Light's whole body started burning up, and his head started to feel dazed.

  
For the first time in years, Light was happy. Wholly and unequivocally happy.

  
Light pulled Mia's shirt off over her head and placed it behind him blindly. He pulled away and looked at her body. Her chest was not as bony and thin as her back had been. Mia's delicate skin was soft and white. Light gingerly felt her tight stomach and the defined muscles on her sides.

She was perfect.

  
Mia began tugging on the bottom of Light's sweatshirt, attempting to take it off of him. Light defensively grabbed her hands and pulled away as if he was just attacked.

  
She was extremely annoyed at that and looked at him crookedly, "What's wrong? I'm not gonna be the only one with my tits out."

  
Light didn't respond to her and let go of Mia's hands. His arousal began to get replaced with a thick sheet of anxiety.

  
He responded, "I just don't want you to be disappointed in what you find."

  
Mia seemed confused and dismissively asked, "What, are you one of those people who weight like 100 pounds but think they're obese or something?"

  
Light shook his head, "No, nothing like that."

  
Mia grabbed his shirt again, "Then let me see, I don't think I'll be disappointed."

  
Light didn't stop Mia this time as she pulled his shirt over his head and threw it haphazardly to the ground.

  
Mia got a view of his abdomen first, which was covered in fresh cuts which were only about a day old. There was around twenty deep crimson lines across his stomach and side areas.  
Mia took her hand and ran her fingers across the shape of the cuts. Light wanted to pull away, but her cold hands felt good on his wounds.

  
Overpowering shame grabbed a hold of Light and held its grip firmly on him. He had ruined it all. He ruined it all because he couldn't control his emotions. Light dreaded to know what Mia must have thought of him.

The expression on Mia's face was hard to pin down. It was a look of concern, but she also seemed intrigued. Mia grabbed Light's hand and pulled his arm closer to her.

"You do it here, too?" Mia asked, somewhat sympathetically.

  
Light nodded and quietly confirmed, "Yeah."

  
He didn't want Mia to look there.

  
Mia examined his arm closer. The newer cuts and faded pink scars were larger and deeper than the wounds on his stomach. The amount of them and the variety of colors and shapes had indicated to Mia that Light had been injuring himself for a very long time.

  
She looked over every part of his arm and stroked the scars softly with her fingertips. Light couldn't believe how gentle and comforting she was being. Light didn't think Mia was the type to be understanding of an issue like that. He assumed she would have been the type of person to laugh at Light and call him weak.

  
Eventually, she had gotten to the back area of Light's forearm. This was the part that Light had truly dreaded.

  
Mia's facial expression morphed into one of fear and confusion for a second, before she regained her stony composure.

  
She had seen her name.

  
She ran her finger in the shape of the dark red scar that read "MIA".

  
She gained an expression that Light didn't understand. Fear? Amusement? Arousal? He couldn't tell.

  
Mia took her eyes away from his scars and kissed him, bringing him into a hug in the process.

  
As they embraced, she whispered once again, "On second thought, maybe you are crazy enough."  
Light smiled and pulled Mia closer, until his face was resting in her hair.

  
Light knew he would never be as joyful as he was in that moment and that it was all downhill from there.


End file.
